A.C. Wise

I don’t like hockey or maple syrup. I’m not proud of Celine Dion. I probably couldn’t name more than three Prime Ministers. I am no longer fluent (if I ever was) in both official languages. I just don’t think the Red Green Show is all that funny. And in my intense excitement over the upcoming long weekend associated with the Fourth of July, I almost forgot today was Canada Day.

On the other hand….

Even though I don’t like hockey, I believe the fighting is integral to the game, and shouldn’t be banned. The title of this post is a reference to an obscure-to-most series of ads for Molson Canadian. I know what poutine is, and I love it. I attended CEGEP. I have seen the Musical Ride. I like winter. I have heard of Today’s Special. And I will always think Mr. Dress-up is cooler than Mr. Rogers.

Happy Whatsit Day, Canada!

The anonymous anthology, Nemonymous Nine: Cern Zoo, which contains my story whose title I can’t tell you, is now available. Should you be so inclined, you can purchase it here on the nemonymous website. The concept of anonymous anthologies seems to be catching on. More about the trend can be found here and here.

The Parable of the Shower by Leah Bobet

A Journal of Certain Events of Scientific Interest from the First Survey Voyage of the Southern Waters by HMS Ocelot, as Observed by Professor Thaddeus Boswell, DPhil, MSc by Helen Keeble

Water stories seem particularly appropriate right now, since it seems to do nothing but rain lately…with occasional mist, general atmospheric dampness, and a brief bout of hail, thrown in for variety.

The Internet Review of Science Fiction has a brief review of Revisionist History in their June issue. Overall positive, but not enough to garner a ‘Recommended’ rating.

I’m a sucker for old horror movies. A couple of years ago, I picked up one of those ‘50 Horror Classics’ sets (classics being loosely defined here) - the kind they sell for $10. How could I resist? I’ve been slowly and sporadically working my way through them, and I thought blogging about them might encourage me to get through all of them, plus remind me which ones I’ve actually watched. Last night when I was trying to pick one, I couldn’t tell which I’d already seen. See, the current generation isn’t the only one that cranks out tons of movies with similar/near-identical plots based on what seems statistically likely to put butts in seats.

I finally settled on The Monster Maker, a 1944 ‘classic’ starring J. Carrol Naish and Ralph Morgan. Mad scientist Igor Markoff deliberately infects concert pianist Anthony Lawrence with a horrible disfiguring disease that will ruin his life and leave him ripe for blackmail, as Markoff is also the only one who can provide a cure. The disease is kind of like low-grade elephantiasis, and causes swelling of the extremities. Hands are extremities, concert pianists tend to use their hands quite frequently…and you begin to see the problem. Why does the mad scientist do all this? Because he wants to marry the concert pianist’s daughter of course, who happens to be the spitting image of said scientist’s dead wife, who died under “tragic circumstances” and who was named (what else?) - Lenore!

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-Went for two bike rides.
-Got a tan (as much as I ever tan).
-Slept a lot, no thanks to the cats and their ideas about when humans should get out of bed.
-Wrote a lot.
-Edited some.
-Enjoyed raspberry beer (who knew they made girly beer?) and Irish food with good friends.
-Watched a lot of Mythbusters.
-Gamed some.
-Did not start a grease fire while making fried tortilla strips, despite my best efforts.
-Book shopped vicariously (thanks, Amy!)
-Ate food that had been applied to fire. Yum!
-Did not clean the house, despite my good intentions.

It was a good weekend. What did you do?

We saw Star Trek in IMAX last Tuesday. The short, spoiler-free version of my reaction is that I liked it. For more spoiler-full thoughts, read after the jump.

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Over at Fantasy Magazine, this Friday’s blog for a beer asks, “If you could choose one mundane household item to be your magic reviser, which item would you choose and how would you use it?” If you want to take part in the fun, inspired by Revisionist History, and have a chance at winning fabulous prizes, you can do so here. Just post your answer to the question in the comment thread at Fantasy, and next Friday, the editors will pick the winner.

My official Author Spotlight, which accompanies my story over at Fantasy Magazine, is now online. This is my first ever interview. I don’t think I did too bad for a first-timer. Thanks to Marshall Payne for making it so much fun!

Head on over to Fantasy and check it out. Feel free to ask follow-up questions in the comments (here or there), or suggest ridiculous Oscars outfits. Just don’t ask what’s in the trunk.

My short story, Revisionist History, is currently up over at Fantasy Magazine.

The first taste is free:

After their third fight about whose turn it was to switch the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer, and therefore whose fault it was that the clothes now smelled faintly of mold, Robert started writing on the walls. He took a magic marker he found jammed into an old soup can full of pens, went into the spare room which they never used, and closed the door.

Read the rest here.